“What this painting means to me Wednesday”

 

This was the first painting I did when I realized I wouldn’t be traveling and would be staying close to home (I had no idea just how close back then). I entered the studio in February after a break from an intense 2019. I think 2019 was my 2020 -- a breakup, I had my last ride season then stepped down from my role with the beloved HCRA, I produced and sold a book (thanks, everyone— the support was AH-mazing), a new show with 19 paintings, oh, and that assault I wrote about recently...it was a lot, y’all.

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So when I had the capacity to step into the studio again, this was the first painting I did. I told myself, “just do what you want. Anything you want. It doesn’t matter.”

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I wanted to do something large. I wanted to do something simple and quiet but with a big presence. I wanted respite on the page and in front of it. Stillness.

 

And this is what I got. When I let go of all expectations and thought about the only painting that needed to happen at that moment, this is what happened.